Must A Wannabe Influencer Pal Cease Using People for Material?

One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?